Tuesday, December 27, 2011

He is Jealous for Me??

So, it's kind-of (or WAY) awesome how God can, in the same instance, reveal to you something you need to work on, but through that exact same situation, reveal to you something so very powerful about Himself, and about His relationship with YOU!

I was reflecting on my New Year's Resolution, and I was thinking on the Serenity part.  The part, where I basically said that I need to give up feeling jealous in trying to cultivate relationships that essentially don't want to be cultivated. (For more details, see my last post).  And, I'm driving down the road, when it hits me like the biggest lightbulb moment ever!  Oh MY GOSH!  This is the SAME JEALOUSY that God feels for ME!  It's that longing to want to be accepted and pursued by someone you have set your sights on, but by whom the feelings are not reciprocated.  I'm not even speaking of a ROMANTIC nature.  I mean, am I the only one who sometimes feels inadequate in friendships, or even family relationships?  Who takes the ones for granted that come so easily, while longing and aching to improve the ones with those who always have better things to do?  Am I the only one who longs for more, even though it repeatedly ends up fruitless? 

Instead, you watch the object of your affection busy themselves with other people and things that they treat as more important or feel are more exciting than you are.  And, you even see them continue to seek out relationships and make time for people whom they will later complain annoy them, or let them down.  And, meanwhile, there you stand, in your steadfast loyalty to that relationship....and you're taken for granted. Just called upon when that person's in need.  And, you just watch them.  And, wait.  And, feel let down, and jealous, and sad.  And, you wonder, will I EVER be cool enough for that person?  

Can it BE that I do the SAME thing to God?  I always have better things to do, treat other things as more important, or spend my time in activities that seem more exciting than God.  I spend my affections and energy, even, on people and things who will eventually let me down.  And, meanwhile, there He stands, in His steadfast loyalty to our relationship, and I take Him for granted.  Just call upon Him when I'm in need.  And, He watches me, and waits.  And, feels let down, and jealous and sad, and wonders, Will she EVER realize that I am good enough, sufficient enough, adequate enough, that I AM ENOUGH?

Thank you, God, for helping me to understand what it means that YOU are jealous for ME!

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