Sink or Swim

A couple of days ago, I started out my day the way I feel I probably "should" start out every day:  Praying.

Praying that I would walk as one who glorifies the Lord in all that I do.  That I may encourage people and "behave" the way a "good Christian" should.  Of course, I didn't really use those words, exactly, but the gist of it was that I aimed, from the time I rolled out of bed, to do things RIGHT.  The way God would expect me to.

But, I SO BLEW IT!  I mean, I messed up at every single turn.  By the end of the day, I was like, "HOLY MOLY!  WHAT HAPPENED THERE, GOD??"  Not that I was blaming God, per se, but I'll admit that the thought crossed my mind, "Note to self:  Fat lot of good that prayer did!  Don't bother praying for all that stuff in the morning."

It wasn't until later that I reflected on the fact that my day was kinda similar to one of those times when a Christian  prays for (and every Christian knows better than to pray for...) PATIENCE.  I prayed that I would be the hands and feet of Jesus in every circumstance that day, and....well....God gave me lots and lots of opportunities to be just that.  

I had stressful situations.  But, I lost my cool.

If someone annoyed me, I snapped....

....and then went and gossiped to someone else about how I had been wronged.

I had the chance to reach out to someone, but I passed her by.

I mean it.  I. BLEW. IT!

I'm not gonna lie.  I was kicking myself.  Feeling ashamed.  And, beat down.  And figuring I'm such a mess, and a failure at this whole "Christian living" gig.

But, then I remembered some pretty awesome things:

1)  God knows I'm not perfect, but he loves me enough to give me chances to recognize where I need to grow and desire  to grow.  

I feel kinda like Monday was an awesome "baseline assessment," where God put me in all manner of trying situations, so that I could become acutely aware of what my natural response is in those situations.  The thing is that I'm not going to be able to respond better within those situations until I recognize my natural reactions, and surrender that sin to the Father (because my reactions are most definitely sinful in a lot of circumstances!)  By the end of the day on Monday, I felt truly grieved in my heart for the unChristlybecoming ways I had reacted.  The Word says that "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:10).  See, it is not enough for me to just want to pray a prayer and "poof" be all free from sin. God desires for us to have a complete understanding of our sinfulness and to mourn over that sin.  A contrite spirit is what leads to true repentance.  And, thus, the process of sanctification grows deeper!!  

How awesome is that?!!  I guess, when I think of it in those terms, Monday was a great success!!

2)  God is a God of second (and third and fourth) chances.

On Tuesday, I decided I needed to try all over again.  And, wouldn't you know it, God gave me an downright blatant second chance.

Only...easier :)

God is an amazing teacher and counselor!

If you took your child to swimming lessons, the instructor would probably conduct some sort of a baseline assessment of how well your kiddo could swim.  Based on that assessment, the teacher is going to help the child form a realistic "long-term goal."  After the assessment is done, that instructor isn't going to take the child to the deep end and toss him in the water to make him flail for life!  No, she's going to set up baby step opportunities for the child to gain the necessary skills, bit by bit, until the child can safely take the plunge off the diving board by the end of the swimming course!

That's what I felt like God did with me yesterday!  I met up with an awesome friend who was in need of encouragement yesterday, and God was there with us, and I was able to speak words of knowledge and encouragement to this person, despite my ridiculous "failure" of a day before!  It was amazing how God used that very circumstance to remind me that He isn't embarrassed by me, He isn't ashamed of me, He has a purpose for me, and when I take a backseat and let Him do the talking (less of me, and more of Him), nothing is impossible.  His grace is sufficient for me.

3)  Christ did not die in vain!

After that opportunity, I felt so close to the Lord.  In encouraging someone else with a love of the Father, I felt probably more encouraged, myself!  I felt like I had responded in a way that glorified Him.  And, He reminded me, once again, that He's got this!  That He is the one growing me up.  Teaching me.  Counseling me.  Instructing me.  Even if I don't get it right every time, He loves me.  And, He's not going to ditch me!  If so, then what was the cross for?? I was reminded of what He had begun teaching me in my blog post about love:  Only when we can learn to show the love and compassion to those who are closest to us, can we then begin to branch out to those whom we may struggle to love.  God spoke to my heart, and the Holy Spirit interceded, as I prayed, "God, give me more of that.  More opportunities to encourage.  More opportunities to love people.  More More More, Lord.  Give me More."

I'm so ready for my next "swimming" lesson!