My Sozo Experience

Sozo = Save, Heal, Deliver (Based on the Greek word for Salvation through Jesus Christ)

I just had my much anticipated Sozo session this week, and anyone who has been through this inner healing and deliverance ministry will understand why I just can’t contain myself from shouting to the world about the depths of my experience! 

For those who have never experienced it, be forewarned that you may think I’m… well  -to use my friend, Jenn’s, expression - a little Cukoo for Cocopuffs!  But, in all reality, I’m totally okay with that, because my life is sure to be a testimony to the truths of what I have been through, and I am 100% convinced I was delivered from some pretty intense strongholds!!  Some, of which, I never even REALIZED the effects of their weight on my spirit, until they were cut off! 

I’ll be honest, after a 2-1/2 hour session yesterday, I thought, “Where has this ministry been all my life, and where was it during all those years when I tried to get ‘fixed’ through self-help books and conventional counseling?!”  That’s not to say that I’m not a supporter of counseling.  That’s my background, after all, so I’m confident it has its place.  But I’m here to attest to the fact that true healing comes from releasing forgiveness, confessing sin, and relinquishing everything from your hands and into the hands of Jesus Christ … as led by the Holy Spirit.  He will show you what you’re still hanging onto!

But, first let me begin at …um … the beginning.  As in, why did I feel the need for sozo?

As many of my friends and family are aware, I have been dealing with a somewhat mysterious neurological condition for several months.  I had a similar onset of this condition in 2005, which then went into remission for several years.  I have recently been referred to a top-notch Movement Disorders Specialist in Houston, to treat me for what is thought to be a condition called Paroxysmal Dyskinesia.  For more information on the manifestations of my episodes, see my other blog post.

So, I used to have these episodes all day every day, but they’ve slowed down substantially, particularly following a “healing prayer” session at church on February 7.  (For more info on that session, see this blog post).  Now, I only have them about once a week, or so.

So, a few weeks ago, I began reading a book called Shadow Boxing, about spiritual strongholds, and doors that we open to various spirits (through personal sin, trauma, generational curses, etc.), and while I was reading the book, the Holy Spirit was blowing my mind with things from my past that may have opened the door for various demonic spirits to latch on.  Now, let me address a question some people may have:  If you are a Christian, how can you be possessed by a demon?  The short answer is: You can’t.  In the book, the author describes a great analogy:  If your neighbor needs a vehicle, and you let him borrow your car all of the time, then why would he need to own (or…possess) that vehicle?  After all, he has free reign to take it for a spin whenever he wants!  The same holds true for spiritual strongholds.  As long as we give them legal grounds to be there, then they will stay, although it is not a possession of your soul, like might happen with a non-believer.  But, when you close all of those doors, by surrendering to Christ, then they no longer have legal grounds, and must clean up the damage they have created, and leave.

So, the night after I finished reading Shadow Boxing, I had an exceptionally vivid dream – a vision, I believe.  I was at the park and I was desperately searching for a little girl because I needed to pray for her.  I needed to pray for her salvation.  But, she kept hiding from me.  Then, I determined I needed to pray for her healing.  But, again, she continued to hide.  Finally, the Lord spoke to me, “She doesn’t need prayer for salvation.  She doesn’t need prayer for healing.  This one has a spirit of fear!”

At that moment, I woke up, most certain that God had just used a dream to convey to me that I’ve been seeking healing prayer, when, in fact, I need deliverance from a spirit of fear!  So, I began praying against a spirit of fear.  When I did this, my body became sooooo rigid! (This REALLY happened!  I’m not dreaming anymore!  We’re BACK in Kansas, Toto!!)  My body became so rigid, with my muscles in my face, arm, and abs involved (like in my episodes), and my tongue even became completely rigid in my mouth.  It frightened me because I was home alone, with my children in their beds, so I stopped praying, not knowing what was about to happen, nor how to handle a potential demonic manifestation.  It. WAS. CRAZY!!!

At first, I didn’t tell anyone about the experience because I was thinking, myself, that I might be a little cukoo for Cocopuffs!  But, after a few days, I couldn’t contain myself, and I told my brother, Gary, about the dream, and his response was an immediate, “We’ve GOT to get you set up for a sozo!”  So, we did!

Sozo is a one-on-one encounter with the Holy Spirit, in which the He reveals to you in vivid and undeniably clear ways, doors that have opened in your life to give demonic spirits legal grounds to your life.  And, the best part is that, throughout the process, as you confess, forgive, relinquish things into the hands of Jesus, the Lord heals you and cleanses you, and in as vivid and undeniably clear ways, shows you His Truth and the depths of His love for you!  It is a time of unimaginable intimacy with the Lord, and the best part is that it doesn’t  have to end when you walk out of the sozo session!  It is just the beginning of a renewed, deeper, hand-in-hand walk with our Father God!!

So, as I mentioned before, my session lasted about 2-1/2 hours.  It’s 100% spirit led, and you begin simply by inviting the Holy Spirit in to speak to your heart and determine where to begin.  So, I’ll admit - straight away, I was feeling pretty nervous, and I just flat-out asked the facilitator, “Um, okay, so what happens if the Holy Spirit doesn’t speak to me or show me anything?”  Suffice it to say, that was a non-issue!  The Holy Spirit made himself known immediately and gave us the direction to go!  He showed me so many doors that have been opened (either by my own doing, sins of family members, or sins that I was subjected to without my consent, or even areas of lack of forgiveness in my heart).  Truly, I was floored at the amount of unforgiveness that I have harbored toward many people!  Unforgiveness that I never would have identified outside of divine intervention!  I went back to memories from before I even knew I could remember!  And, with each and every door, I was guided through the process of confession, forgiving, even breaking soul ties that I didn't realize still existed, and relinquishing it all to Jesus, and then, without FAIL, I would receive a vision from the Lord!  A crystal clear vision! 

EVERY. TIME!!

Prior to yesterday, I never would have qualified myself as a “visions” kind of person.  (Apparently, I was wrong).

Some of the vision I had were:

a)    A chain breaking

b)    (This one cracks me up, but was gentle, yet powerful, in its own right): A demon repairing a fence it had destroyed, putting its hammer into its toolbox, and, literally, hanging its head and moping away in defeat.

c)    A vision of the blood of Jesus filling up my entire body!

d)    A vision of God, literally, holding my heart in His hands.  (Hard to describe, and sounds a little gruesome, but it wasn’t.  It was perfect!)

e)    An image of being face to face with Jesus, with his hands cupped gently on each side of my head.

f)     A vision of myself, standing in the middle of an open field, eyes toward heaven, as I was being covered with falling snow.

Perhaps the most dramatic (?) encounter was when we determined that I had a spirit of fear (surprise, surprise!), which had attached to me as the result of a childhood trauma, and did not want to leave.  (By the way, this isn’t overly common, as most spirits will simply surrender in defeat, and leave, once the legal grounds have been removed). But this one wasn’t willing to just give up the ghost!  The sozo facilitator dealt with that spirit in different way than the others, speaking directly to the spirit, by the authority of Jesus, rather than communicating through the Holy Spirit.  When it came time to cut the spirit off, he began speaking with authority over the spirit, refusing it the right to converse, resist, or manifest, and when this occurred, my body became seized up, in the same way as the manifestations of my episodes, with one exception:  My abdominals became so tight that I actually got a charlie horse in the abdominal muscles, which prompted me to let out a loud, completely involuntary moan, and then …

It was gone! 

My body returned to complete relaxation!  We prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill that void where the spirit of fear had once resided!  Suffice it to say, I am confident that I will not be going to Houston to see a Movement Disorders Specialist!

Think I’m crazy yet? 

That’s okay.  I’m a walking testimony.  I cannot describe how light-on-my-feet I have felt since this encounter.  Probably because I’ve been living with a spirit of fear since the time I was about 8-years-old.  I haven’t KNOWN any different.  I didn’t even realize the amount of heaviness with which I walked around each day.  Everything in my life has been plagued with some degree of angst. 

I can’t take my kids to the park without worrying about losing sight of one of them.  I’m tormented by a fear of one of my kids getting hit by a car.  I am overbearing every time I leave town, and have to leave them with a sitter.  When I was 19, I tried to live in an apartment by myself, but couldn’t because I was overcome by fear.  I’m afraid of failing at work.  I’m afraid of failing at writing.  I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.  I’m afraid of what people think of me.  I’m often even afraid to talk to Jeremy about spiritual matters, for fear of what he might think. 

Make that “WAS.”  WAS AFRAID.

But, not anymore.  I feel this freedom and relief.  A light-hearted joy.  A confidence.  Almost like a manic high!!  “It is Finished,” God has assured me.  All as a result of this intimate time of surrendering it all to Jesus. 

And, the best part is that this is only the beginning!