Mission Trinidad 2013

I just got back from my first international mission trip, and I will never be the same!!

First, let's back up to review how, exactly, I got involved in this mission trip:

I attended a prophetic conference through Abilene's TSSM School (Transformational School of Supernatural Ministry) in October of 2012.  At that time, I knew virtually nothing about the active gift of prophecy.  However, the man who was leading the conference called me out to speak a word of prophecy over me during the conference.  I don't remember much about what he said, as he downloaded information at an incredibly high rate of speed.  But, what I did retain was something to this effect:

"My dear, have you considered missions?  I sure hope so!" [laughter from the congregation] "Because you have a heart of compassion like no other.  I see a picture of you walking down the street pulling a wagon, full of tools, and you have just the right tools to hand out at just the right times to those in need. I see you going on several short term missions in a short period of time.  I see Brazil...and Africa...oh Yes, and India....." (This is but a snippet of the word he released over me...)

Now, mind you, this conference fell the weekend after I started my new career as a stay-at-home-mom. So, as you can imagine, my wheels began turning.  I was thinking, "Oh my!  This guy has got it all wrong."  That's not to say I didn't have a heart for missions, because, in fact, I have had a burning desire to go to the nations for several years, but if there was a bad time for that season to open up for me...it was now.  I had just given up my income, which had accounted for about 1/2 of our total income, and I no longer had routine childcare for our kids.  That prophecy was sounding a little bleak.

Nonetheless, I told the Lord, "If this is from you, Lord, then I will absolutely partner with you, and I trust that you will bring down the resources to make this thing happen."

Much to my surprise, 2 months later, I received the following e-mail:  "Hannah, I am writing to notify you that we have received an anonymous donation to sponsor you 100% on a mission trip.  If you would like to go on a mission trip, please submit your application as soon as possible."

Wow! No WAY!!! (Is that what you're thinking?  Because that's what I was thinking!!)

Choosing which trip to go on was very easy for me.  The moment I heard about the structure of the Trinidad trip, my heart began to race in excitement, and I thought, "Oh, I need to sign up for that trip RIGHT AWAY, because it will surely fill up fast!!"  (I suppose this is a good indication that intercessory prayer/worship/evangelism is the proverbial burr in my saddle!!)

So, I signed up.

In the meantime, I received prophetic word after prophetic word, from people who did not know me from Adam, but who were releasing awe-inspiring humbling words from the Father, such as:

"You are an encourager, and you have the ability to speak words that pierce right to someone's heart to release them from depression."

"You are small in stature, but your spirit is huge."

"You are powerful, and carry a powerful presence."

"You are an integral part of the Father's plan to usher His Kingdom on earth."

"I see a picture of a basket, and you have been hiding in a basket, in the background, but the Lord is about to move you to the front lines."

"The Lord has anointed your lips to sustain the weary."

From Will Hart, "Oh, wow!  Haha!  Yeah!  I see Daddy all over you!  This is a goooooood season for you."

So, it seemed like God's perspective of my ability to reach others for His Kingdom far outshone my own perspective!!  What amazing words of encouragement I received!!  I am so thankful for all of those perfect strangers/messengers I encountered before the trip.  They definitely helped to stir up a boldness inside of me!  The Lord is so amazing and faithful!!

The trip seemed like an eternity away, and then suddenly, it was upon us!!  In fact, I can't believe it's already over!  How did that happen??  

But, OH, was it GOOD!!

It didn't, necessarily, start out that way for me, though.  When I arrived in Trinidad, a woman accidentally took my carry-on luggage, instead of her own, off the plane.  I had stored all of my essentials and valuables (including my Bible) in my carry-on, in case my checked luggage got lost or stolen.

So much for that safe-guard!!

I tried so hard to focus on the positive, but I'll admit, I was pretty distraught.  I shed more than a few tears (especially when I finally got to speak to my husband -- that's when the water-works really revved up).  I was weary, and most of all, I was concerned about the fact that I felt like a burden to the rest of our team, holding everyone back from getting to our destination, as we battled with the airlines to locate my lost luggage for over 2 hours.

In retrospect, it is blatantly obvious that the Lord went before me in the entire circumstance - without a doubt.  I had packed my nice, expensive DSLR camera in my carry-on, but late, the night before departure, I felt a nudge deep in my gut, telling me to take the camera out, and pack my point-and-shoot camera, instead.  Also, when I went to stow my carry-on on the plane, I had the wits about me to take my tiny purse, which I had stored in the luggage, out of the luggage to keep with me on the plane.  The purse contained my money, credit card, and passport.  If I hadn't taken the purse out of the baggage, I would not have even been able to get into the country!!  And, one more miraculous thing.  The day before I left for the trip, I changed my voicemail to say, "I am out of the country until July 27.  If you really need to reach me, then please call Jeremy at ###-####..."  Even as I changed my voicemail, I distinctly remember thinking, "Who on earth would need to reach me who wouldn't know to contact Jeremy??"  Well, wouldn't you know, my luggage tag only had my phone number on it, so the woman who took my luggage, was able to obtain Jeremy's number from my voicemail, and we were able to connect to get my luggage back after a few days.  Unbelievable!!  God is so good!!

The day of travel, and especially the day after arrival, I became terribly ill with a stomach virus that my daughter had been carrying for the few days prior to the trip.  It. was. AWFUL.  Thankfully, my team leaders were very proactive about getting my roommates out of my room, and insisting that I stay at the retreat center to rest the first day.  Again, I was beside myself, thinking, "Oh my goodness!  I am, like, the problem child of this trip!!  And, now I'm going to get everyone else sick!!"  I, seriously, could not believe the drama I had carried with me - first with the luggage debacle, then getting so terribly sick.  I was so distraught.  I think I cried more in my first 18 hours in Trinidad than I had in months!!  But, praise be to God, my illness was very short-lived (Come to find out, Jeremy had come down with the same horrific bug at the same time back home).

Later in the afternoon on Day 2, I sat in my room, and just started giving Satan the what-for!  I demanded, "You have to return to me what you have stolen!!  You cannot keep it!!"  I mean, I was so mad!!  I was speaking with great authority over the enemy!!  Much to my surprise, when I spoke to my husband that night, he notified me that the woman who had my luggage had contacted him earlier that day, so that she could return the luggage.  I was blessed to get my luggage back the next night, and to find that absolutely nothing was missing from my belongings.

And, so the real mission work began!!  We partnered with Every Home for Christ, whose mission is to reach every single household on the planet to expose them to the Gospel of Christ.  SO GOOD!!!  We also partnered with IHOP (no, not the Pancake House...) to intercede with continuous worship and prayer, concurrently while teams did door-to-door evangelism.

Outreach teams were partnered with local churches.  So, in general, one American would team up with 2 or 3 Trinidad locals from the church, to evangelize neighborhoods.

Incidentally, the Trinidad population comprises mostly of people from African and Indian descent. (You may remember that original prophetic word I received back in October 2012...), and their primary religions are Muslim and Hindu (and I found many encounters with Rastafarianism).

We had remarkable encounters.  While many people (mostly devout Muslims) refused to accept prayer, I did not encounter anyone who wasn't willing to at least listen to the Gospel.  We blessed so many people with prayer, and many people gave their lives to Christ.  About 70% of the people I, personally, encountered were already professing Christians.  And, I didn't experience any conversions.  But, I did sow lots of seeds :)

Honestly, I was so inspired by the Christians in Trinidad.  They know Jesus, and they operate under the power of the Holy Spirit, and they are beautiful examples of what it means to walk as ones who are not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Every single Christian that I met, whether on outreach or at the beach, would beam with exceeding joy and pour out stories of their affections for Jesus as the only Way, the Truth and the Life!!  They know who their Savior is, and they want the world to know, as well, regardless of any possibility of rejection.  Totally inspiring, these Trinis!!

The most incredible personal encounter I experienced was on the 3rd day of outreach.  As my team hiked to our assigned outreach neighborhood, I noticed a man sitting on a street curb.  I asked if the team wanted to reach out to the man.  They all enthusiastically answered, "Sure!" but when they turned around and saw the man, they said, "Oh, no, we can't talk to him.  He's deaf & dumb."  I encouraged them to join me in ministering to the man, anyway, so we approached him.

I began praying over his ears, commanding them to open.  As I repeatedly snapped in his ears, it became evident that his ears were not opening at that time.  So, I simply placed my hand on his back and began praying over him.  I don't really remember what all I prayed, but I do remember praying that the Lord would make His presence known, and that the Holy Spirit would touch the man, and fill him with peace and joy.  When I finished praying and took my hand off of the man, he opened his eyes, and they were filled with tears.  He, then, began vigorously pointing to his heart and uttering in excitement, "Ahh Ahh Ahhh!!!"  Then, he pointed to the sky, indicating God, and would point from the sky to his heart, and back to the sky.  He was overcome with joy, indicating that he had felt the presence of the Lord move in his heart.  It was amazing.  I was, then, able to use some literature to share the Gospel with him.

The experience was such a testament to the fact that God is not bound by our limited resources.  The Holy Spirit is not inhibited by language or communication barriers.  He speaks the language of Love because He IS Love, and He speaks directly to the heart!!

God really empowered me with an even bigger gift of boldness, and He unlocked my gift of prophecy on this trip.  During worship one day, God gave me a vision of me ministering on the streets.  As I ministered, Jesus stood next to me, whispering into my ear the things to say.  So, Jesus would whisper into my ear, and then I would say what I heard Him saying.  During worship, the vision morphed, and Jesus, who was standing next to me, took one step over, until He was standing inside of me, and we merged into one.  So, no longer was I having to listen to Him, and then speak. Instead, He stepped inside of me, and was doing all the talking, directly.  Talk about a powerful vision!!  That very day, I noticed everything shift in the depths of my prophetic voice.  I'm excited to know that's not just for Trinidad, but something that I can continue to operate in at home!!  Freakin' awesome!!

I'll admit, there was a part of me that felt a little discouraged at one point, eager and hungry for the harvest.  But, the Lord, oh so gently, reminded me of how important the seed sower is, in the work of the Kingdom.  If the seeds aren't sown, there can never be a harvest.

Praise be to God that I can play even a small role in ushering His Kingdom on earth!!

Resting in Him

It was the week of July 4th -- a particularly busy week for our family this year.  The 4th was on a Thursday, but we had things on the agenda every single night, and the kids were having to stay up well past bedtime every night. The city fireworks show was scheduled for July 3rd this year, and it didn't start until 10pm.  My kids usually go to bed at 8:30.  (And, my kids don't nap).  

This was the first year that Lexi was big enough to stay up for the show.  She made it, and fell asleep around 11:30 that night, only to wake up at the crack of dawn the next day.

So, on July 4th, we had plans to go watch fireworks again, with some good friends, who put on a phenomenal show every year, along with dinner and lots of kid-friendly opportunities throughout the evening (bouncy castle, sand pit, putt-putt, etc.)  It was sure to be a fun evening, but would put our kids up late, yet again.

And, did I mention that my kids don't nap??

By about mid-morning on the 4th, it became painfully evident that Lexi was overtired, and was not going to hold out for another late night.  (Not a pleasant one, anyway...)  

And, so began the battle.  The nap time nightmare.  I'm pretty sure if there was an Olympic sport  for Fighting Sleep, my daughter would be a gold medal contender!!

She put up as good a fight as ever, and I felt so exasperated - mainly because I knew that there were some wonderfully fun things in store for her for the evening, if she would only get some rest.  If she didn't get rest, one of two things would happen.  We would either not get to go at all, or we would get to go, but she would be so tired, she wouldn't be able to enjoy all of the activity, due to being completely spent.

As I desperately battled to get her to submit to the inevitable nap (to which she finally did give in, by the way!!), I had a revelation:

I wanted Lexi to rest.  Not because I wanted a break, or wanted relief from the bad attitudes and sibling rivalry (although that is, admittedly, sometimes my motivation.  Haha).  No, I wanted her to rest because I knew what was in store for her for the evening, and I wanted her to be completely ready to receive and enjoy the goodness!!

In the same way, God has wonderful gifts and encounters in store for us.  He knows the plans He has for us.  But, He also wants us to find rest in Him, so that we, too, can be ready to receive all that He has for us.  Rest in God has been set up since the original commandments, "Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy."  Why would God want us to rest?  To "remember the Sabbath?"  He wants us to take time away from the busyness of life, from the "work" (whatever that may be) to simply be in His presence.  To rest in His love.  To connect, with an undivided heart, to Him.  That He might restore our souls.  Relieve our stress.  Adjust our attitudes. Encourage our hearts. Give us Life.  The full Life that He has intended for us, that He has breathed into existence before we have ever even conceived of it in our minds.  He has good gifts He wants to give to His children, and when we stop and find rest in Him, we are better equipped to recognize the goodness, to embrace it, to walk in our destiny, and to enjoy this life for all that it is worth.

When I look at it this way, I think, why in the world would I resist this kind of rejuvenating rest?  I mean, seriously,  I am no different that Lexi, except that mine is a spiritual resistance, while Lexi's is one in the natural.  Thanks be to God for this revelation, for it compels me to truly find my rest in Him, alone!!  

How about you??

Ah, yes!!  My soul finds rest in God, alone!!  Bring it on, Lord!!!

I AM NOT A NUMBER ON A SCALE

I went on an amazing Women's Retreat, put on by my church this weekend.  In preparing for it, I didn't know how much the Lord really planned to do in my life over one simple weekend.  I mean, I am perfectly aware that I have, by no means, "arrived," but I feel like I am in a really good place, regarding my identity, and I feel like I walk in a great deal of freedom from old wounds.  Aside from that, I was on the team that helped to plan the retreat, was assigned as a small group leader, and they were even going to use my testimony (on identity, no less) for part of the retreat.

So, you can imagine my surprise, when one day prior to the retreat, I felt utterly unhinged.

See, awhile back, I felt like I needed to stop weighing myself.  I have struggled with weight-loss for some time now.  I work-out religiously.  Not haphazardly.  Not half-assedly. (Yes, I just said "half-assedly.")  I am a 5-6 day per weeker, and I push myself hard.  Yet, the scales were not moving.  My body fat percentage was not budging.  For whatever (seemingly) random reason, I felt like the Lord told me I could weigh myself again (after several weeks) on April 25.  I didn't have a calendar in front of me, at that time, so I didn't even process the fact that it was one day prior to the upcoming retreat.  I felt certain that the Lord was going to let me break my "weighing fast" because I would feel encouraged, seeing that, over an extended period of time, the scales would finally move.

Well, in case you haven't heard, God's ways are not like our ways.  The Bible even tells us:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Isaiah 55:8

When I stepped on the scales that Thursday morning, I stood in utter shock and despair, seeing that I had not dropped one single pound, nor one measly percentage of body fat.  It may sound silly, but I was truly heart-broken, discouraged, and absolutely broken about this.  I wept.  Seriously.  I was, like, "Really, God??  What was the PURPOSE of this??"

Then, instead of listening for Him, I sought consolation from the world.  I texted several people, seeking approval and affirmation about my progress.  Seeking someone to tell me I'm beautiful.  To tell me I've done a good job.  To tell me I'm not fat.

And, then, like a still small voice, I heard something that I couldn't believe to be true, yet felt right:

"My dear, I love you more than you can imagine.  In fact, I love you SO MUCH that I am willing to keep you right where you are, until I can deal with the matters of your HEART."

Could this be true?  Suddenly, something made sense.  I felt absolutely convinced that the Lord wanted to deal with a heart issue that could not be resolved if I'd lost the weight I have been so desperate to lose!!

And, let me just say, He DEFINITELY started dealing with it this weekend!!  And, how clever and creative a God than to use my very own video testimony to stir up the GUNK inside of my heart that needed to be brought to the surface and put to death.

They showed a video of my personal testimony on Saturday night, and I have to say, it was on the top of my list of "most difficult things" I have ever had to watch.  In fact, I don't even think I had such a list until Saturday night!!  I could hardly focus on the message of the final edited video because I was so overwhelmed with absolute loathing in watching myself.  I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh!  Is that REALLY what I look like?"  And, a nasty little word welled up out of my heart.  A word I've never consciously thought about myself before:  "Hideous.  You look hideous!  You are hideous."

I. Was. Broken.

After the talk that night, we were sent on our (not-so-) merry little separate ways to commune with God.  To talk to Him about our identities, and our destinies. To ask him to give us a new name.

"To everyone who is victorious I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And, I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it."

Revelation 2:17

I found this lovely spot out on a little pond in the middle of the encampment.  

I asked.  

And, I listened.

And, I got nothing.

Until, it was after dark, and I opened my eyes to see, on the edge of the water, this beautifully illuminated cross.  And, the Lord, in his faithful gentleness spoke so clearly to me:

"You don't see yourself the way I see you.  Nor the way anyone else sees you.  When people look at you, THAT (the illuminated cross) is what they see."

And, OH, did he EVER give me a new name!!  I figure, if I was getting "hideous," and I suddenly got this, then it must SURELY be from GOD!!

He proceeded to impress on my heart that I am to stop looking at myself, and instead am to keep my eyes fixed on Him.  At first, I didn't understand this.  I thought, "What?  Really, God?  Are you telling me I am never going to find satisfaction in my body, no matter what?"  And, He took me back to the Garden.  To the original sin.  The moment Adam and Eve ate of the apple, they took their eyes off of God, and onto themselves.  Their own flaws. Their own imagined "lacking."  That was the sin.  That they stopped looking at God, and started focusing on themselves.  Now, as a new creation, part of that redemption, in Christ, and restoration to right relationship with God, is that we fix our eyes back on HIM, rather than on ourselves.

As cheesy of a "duh-moment" as it sounds: It's not about me! It's about HIM!!!

As if to drive the entire issue home, today, as I was basking in His presence, He took me to James.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds," [not just the crazy huge serious ones!!  Even just the ones that may seem insignificant to the world, but are significant to YOU...like, say....weightloss and body image!!!] "because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

I'm sooooo thankful and overjoyed to know that He loves me enough to keep me right where I am, so that I may not be found lacking in anything!!!

PRAISE YOU, JESUS!!

Prophetic Practice

This week, our church hosted Global Awakening for a "Keys to the Prophetic" conference.  Suffice it to say, in a really tiny nutshell, I was blown away!!  To experience the Spirit of God in such a heavy, palpable way was absolutely phenomenal!  Indescribable, really.  I've experienced the presence of God, but never quite like this!  As my brother so brilliantly put it, "Man, this is like cocaine, isn't it??"

Yes, indeed!  Like cocaine, (I assume)!  A high surely better than drugs, and I just wanted to go back for more and more!

One of the major things I took away from the practical teaching part of the conference was this concept that you have to take a risk, if you are ever going to know for sure that you have genuinely received a word of knowledge from the Lord, and not just of your flesh.  For some reason, this was something that really spoke to me, and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone, and into faith to speak what is on my heart.

In the past, I have only spoken out words of knowledge to people that I know, or to people on whom I am "practicing" within the safe confines of the walls of a conference.  In general, every time I have done this, I have been met with confirmation that the word was, in fact, inspired of God.  I got several "spot on" words of knowledge for people throughout this conference and one a couple of weeks ago at a Graham Cooke conference.

So, then, as I walked away from this conference, I wondered what would happen if I took this practical information and actually stepped out in faith to speak encouragement into the life of a complete stranger??  Let me just say that, even when speaking over someone whom I know well, my heart pounds and my voice shakes, so this was a nerve-racking prospective circumstance to wrap my brain around.  However, I know that I want more, and the Lord will entrust me with more when I am faithful in the small things.  I'm never going to get more until I step out of the comfort zone of the walls of church or life group, and seek to encourage those in my community, maybe even those I don't know, but the Lord does know.

So, yesterday, the day after the conference ended, I took my kids to the park.  It was a beautiful day, so there were a lot of people there.  As I looked around, I prayed, "Okay, God, I'm ready.  Will you show me someone here whom I can bless with a word of knowledge?"

I immediately honed in on someone, and as quickly as I did, I felt a common Will Ferrell line pop into my head: "I immediately regret this decision!"  Haha!  I got so nervous, my heart was pounding, and I thought, "What am I doing??"  

I decided to use a technique we learned at the conference:  Take an object/article on the person, and ask God to tell you something about the person, based on that object.

The woman I spotted was carrying an awesome zebra print hand bag -- one of those that I admire on other people, but would never actually carry, myself, as I am not quite chic enough for that :)  The woman carried herself with confidence, she wore large hoop earrings, and had an air of peace about her.  I asked God to tell me something about her handbag, and He immediately downloaded, what seemed to be a pretty awesome word for her.  But, as I always do, I began questioning, "Is this God, or me?"  I then wondered, "Now, how on earth am I going to approach this woman??"  She was chasing after 3 small children (confidently, lovingly, and well-composed, mind you), and she had a friend with her, which made me even more nervous.  I thought, "Oh, this woman is going to think I am a straight-up nut-job!"

As if to rescue me, Lexi insisted she needed to use the bathroom.  So, I told myself, "If the woman is still here when we get back from the bathroom, I will approach her."

Of course, she was still there :)  While I was a nervous wreck, heart pounding out of my chest, I also knew that I would be kicking myself if I didn't get the nerve up to talk to her, especially right on the heels of the spiritual high from the conference I had attended the past few days!

So, I finally just walked up to her, and here's what went down:

Me:  "Hi, I'm Hannah.  What's your name?"

Her: "Sarah."

Me: "Well, Sarah, this may seem kind-of funny, but sometimes I just get these words of encouragement that I think someone might need to hear, and I was wondering if I could share with you something on my heart for you?"

Her: [slightly skeptical] "Umm, okay, sure?"

Me: "Well, I was just looking at your handbag, which I love by the way.  But, I was thinking...and, by the way, this may be totally off the mark, and if it is, I apologize... But, I was just thinking that the black in that zebra print represents some self-criticism you may be dealing with lately..."

[Now, mind you, absolutely nothing in this woman's presence indicated to me that she is dealing with self-criticism.  Remember, she carried a fashionable hand-bag, wore nice big hoop earrings, and carried herself very confidently, but not overly so]...

Me: "...like, maybe you see something in your life that you're just not happy with, or maybe you feel like you're not measuring up?  But, the white represents your purity and sincerity, and when God looks at you, he does not see the black, but only the white.  He sees the purity and sincerity of your life, and He absolutely delights in you, in every part of you."

Her: "Okay, thanks."

Me: "Sure.  You're welcome."  Now, in my mind I'm thinking, "Okay, I did it.  It's over.  Who knows whether she was encouraged, but I did my part. *sigh of relief* The end."

Or, so I thought.

[Beat of silence]

Her: "Because, I mean, that is something I deal with every single day.  I mean, I'm a Christian.  We go to the church right over there.  But, I was just telling my husband yesterday, even, that I just feel like I'm not doing enough for God.  Like, I'm just not holy enough, and I can never do enough for Him."

Oh my HOLY GOODNESS!!! This was wayyyyyy better than I could have even imagined or anticipated!  It opened the door to an amazing opportunity for me to just speak encouragement to this perfect stranger of her TRUE IDENTITY in Christ.  To tell her the way God sees her, and that it is not because of what she does for Him, but because of what He has done for her through Christ Jesus!!!  God just gave me these incredible words of encouragement to her heart, and I even got to pray for her, right there in the middle of the playground!!

What a crazy phenomenal experience!!  I have to say, it increased my confidence and faith, and I feel positive that woman walked away completely encouraged that the Lord sees her and knows her heart, and cares so very intimately for her!!

So blessed to be stepping out in faith!!!

Bubble Bath Brilliance

Last night, after an amazing night of worship and fellowship at the Love and Care Ministries Tent Revival, I came home and decided to relax over a nice warm bubble bath.  Still on a bit of a spiritual high, I picked up a handful of the bubbles, and asked the Lord, "Tell me something about these bubbles, God."  Praise God for His promise that when we ask for bread, He will not give us a stone! (Matt. 7:9-11)

Without a moment's notice, the Lord delivered.  Immediately (no exaggeration -- I mean right away) after I asked the Lord for a little something, I had an answer.  One that was far smarter than I could have come up with on my own, in such a swift instance! 

See, we have this really brilliant, hot can light above our bathtub.  As I gazed upon the bubbles, some were really large, and some were so very tiny.  But, they all had one thing in common.  Every single bubble reflected the light from above.  EVERY. ONE.  Without exception.  And, trust me, I spent a lot of time looking for one that didn't!  No matter the size of the bubble, it reflected the light.  Some had brighter reflections, and some even had a double portion of the reflection, but they all had it!!  And, the magnificent thing was the way the clusters of bubbles created a truly brilliant, beautiful shimmer of light -- a perfect culmination of all of that light reflected from above.

God helped me to see that we, as Jesus followers, are just like those bubbles.  When the Lord shines into us, we cannot help but reflect His light.  He has deposited a measure of Himself in each and every one of us, whether we realize it or not.  No matter our "size," His reflection is there.  And, in fact, His light is reflected in greater proportion to some of the seemingly smaller vessels!! Some have a brighter reflection, and some even have a double portion anointing, but we all reflect the Father's light, because He is pouring into us.  And, when we get together, what an even more ridiculously awe-inspiring, yea brilliant, reflection we depict of the Lord's light and love!!

How FUN is that?!?  God is so GOOD!

He Moves in Mysterious Ways

So, we have made a really big decision for me to leave the workforce, and enter the world of stay-at-home-mom.  See my other post (Changes on the Holmes' Sweet Homefront) for details about this journey.

I have been so very nervous about announcing my resignation, for many reasons.  Mostly because I feel like I am well regarded in my field, and am working my way up a pretty promising career ladder.  So, I’ve been so fretful, wondering how my boss would take the news.

Well, 2 days prior to my scheduled meeting with my boss (which was today), I was driving down the road, and suddenly, for whatever reason, remembered a dream I had had many, many years ago.  The dream had left such a strong impression on my heart that I had awakened, feeling absolutely certain it was a word from the Lord.  I have always remembered that dream, quite vividly, even though it came so many years ago.

However, in trying to recall the dream a couple of days ago, I was a little sketchy on some of the details, and was strapping my brain, trying to remember what the message was that I had felt from the Lord.  I remembered a LOT about the dream, still, but couldn’t get to the core message, buried somewhere in the back of my mind.

So, yesterday, one day prior to my announcement of resignation, I was cleaning out my desk, in nervous anticipation of the impending meeting with my boss today.  I got to the bottom drawer, which was embarrassingly FULL of just…well…JUNK.  Old junk!!  Years and years of junk that I had mindlessly stashed in the useless drawer.  In pulling out the items, and going through them, one by one, I found this old tattered green spiral notebook, and when I opened it up, the only thing I found inside was a penciled, edited, scratched out, attempted poetic version of that dream…that word from the Lord I had had so many years ago….the one I had just randomly thought about, while driving in the car the day before.

So, what was the dream, you may ask?

I was walking home, one seemingly normal night.  Down my seemingly normal and typical path, when suddenly, I became disoriented in the pitch black darkness of the night.  Without warning, I found myself tumbling down a hill, and I landed in the middle of an open field.  I wasn’t sure how I’d landed there, but yet I felt self-confident in my ability to find my way home.  Then, out of nowhere, came this stranger into my presence.  He offered to show me the way home.  Fierce in my independence, I assured him that I didn’t need any directions, as I was quite sure I knew where I was headed.  But the man quieted me with his presence, and simply  said, “Yes, but wouldn’t you like to know a better way?”

Wow!  Now, how creative is that??  God not only spoke to me back those many years ago, but spoke to me again, through the same message,  these many years later.  Reminding me that, while my path may possibly get me to the same final destination, He has a better way!

Upon reading about that dream, the anxiety I felt about submitting my resignation to my boss melted away.  And, wouldn’t you know, when I finally got the opportunity to speak with her, she was overjoyed for my opportunity to stay home with my kids, and embraced me in a supportive hug. 

Every step along the way, so far, in this journey has pointed to God’s provision and faithfulness!!  How blessed we are!!!

A Little Poem

I wrote this short little poem today, to cope with the angst I've been feeling amid all of the political/religious judgment going on lately in the media.

“To love” is a command we all know well,

The greatest commandment that Jesus did tell.

But, “to love” doesn’t always mean “to condone”

Or take the philosophy “to each his own.”

Just because I believe dif’rently from you

Doesn’t mean that I’m condemning you for your view.

Even as you hold your values so dear,

So, I have mine, too, from which I don’t veer.  

So, please understand, I’ve no ill will in my heart,

Just because our opinions & views may depart.

If you decide that I loathe you ‘cause we disagree

Then, my friend, that’s on you, and not on me.