What Can Wash Away My Scents?

Ever since Jonah attended the Christmas Eve service with us at Beltway, he unceasingly sings praise and worship music around the house.  It's really the only type of music he sings.  Non.STOP.  I really should record some of the mis-sings, such as "My God is not dead, He's surely alive, living on the inside BOILING like a lion...." and "My God never loose the fate, My God never loose the fate!..." which he chants and repeats ad nauseum, and we are yet to figure out which song he is singing!  We bought the Unleashed CD from church, and he routinely (or compulsively??) requests to listen to one of 3 songs, which he has named and can distinguish within a couple of notes (He would ROCK "Name that Tune," I'm certain!).  We get in the car, and it always goes something like this: "I wanna sing the Never Give Up song." or "I wanna sing the Never Let Go song!" Whoa.  (Sometimes he'll request "Deep Cries Out" which we all (including Lexi) heartily sing with the motions, but it's usually one of the other two).  I know where they all are on the CD.  I can never remember which is which, so it cracks me up when he requests the "Never Give Up" song, and I turn it to the wrong one.  I say, "Is this it?" and within a millisecond, he says, "NO!  This is the Never Let Go song!! I want the Never Give UP song!"  (Amazing how much demanding sass comes through even while he's requesting to hear a song about God! LOL!) Today, he demonstrated a classic level of childlike faith, as the Never Give Up song had just played before we got out of the car.  Upon our return to the car he (surprisingly) (or not) said, "I wanna sing the Never Give Up song.  It'll come on by itself."  I said, "Do you want me to turn it to the Never Give Up song?"  Oh.MY.GOSH!  Wrong question, apparently!  "NOOOOO!  Don't change it!  It'll come on by ITSELLLLLLLLF!"  Good thing this Mommy has stealthy little steering wheel controls to preserve that level of faith just a little longer :)

As if the singing of praises to the Lord was not enough, last night in the bath, he proudly declared, "Mommy, I'm washing away ALLLL my scents!"  I think he meant sins.  He'll learn soon enough that that's not his job....but for now I suppose we can let him think a little dab of Head-to-Toe Body Wash will do the trick.

Over the past few weeks, Jeremy & I have decided to start letting Jonah go to the musical Praise & Worship time in church, due to his true longing, even PLEADING, to be a part of that. I was reluctant at first, for fear that having him there would be a distraction to our time of worship. But, today, I felt this overwhelming sense of closeness to the Father by sharing in such a crucial spiritual time with my son, even at his young age of 3. And, I found myself with a lump in my throat as I looked down to see him singing with both arms lifted high above his head in worship, himself, this morning. Perhaps mimicking his Mama, but who knows, for sure! Regardless, he is learning the act of worship with true abandon! Wow, what a blessing! 

I'll be honest, it made me wonder if maybe everyone should take their pre-school and up children to that part of church!  I told my Mom, it moves me to the core to witness the ways in which God can already be making transformations in such a tiny little dude, with such a limited understanding and world view.  Even in the simple midst of putting all of these songs on Jonah's heart, I feel like God is going to be able to use that to shape his inmost being and teach my little man about His own character, as the lover and deliverer of Jonah's soul!  It's an incredible thing to think about!  And, of the absolute highest value to me, as his mother!  

I also felt a strong reassurance, or true impression on my heart, this morning that God has big plans for Jonah in His Kingdom! Maybe even as a worship leader himself, someday!  What a blessed day of worship and intimacy with the Father and my son.

Delusions of Holier Grandeur

I'm struggling with arrogance.  Arrogance of thinking that I've got it more "spiritually together" than someone else.  I won't say who, but well, suffice it to say, God helped to put me back in my place.  Here I was, engaged in my holier than thou internal dialogue....a truly ugly little talk that I would never say out LOUD, but will surely think inside of my head.  Have you ever caught yourself in such a dialogue?  "God is telling me all of these things, and opening my heart to His will for my life, and this is awesome.  Too bad so-and-so doesn't get that, or have that kind of relationship with God."  Oh, it's nothing I am proud to admit, but there I was the other day, right after church, no less, truly scrutinizing someone for their behavior right after the service.  "Well, look at that person!  He just showed up at church one way, and left the exact same way!  Why isn't heeeee being transformed by the Word like IIIIII am?"  Meanwhile, there I was JUDGING my neighbor, deciding for myself what God is doing with, in, and for that person's life.  Arrogance.  Wow.  But, God stopped me in the midst of my very thoughts (so I know it wasn't from me!), and I heard this crystal clear message.  A nice, peaceful message ("WHAT?" I thought, "WHO IS THAT?  CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RATHER IMPORTANT HERE??") interrupting my harsh judgmental internal barrage of criticism toward someone's character and lack of holiness: "Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.  Listen to yourself.  How are you behaving any better than the one whom you judge?  Listen to me.  I see that person absolutely no differently than I see you!  My love for him is the same as it is for you.  The blood of Christ has covered all sin.  You were all sinners, and yet I sent my son to die that whoEVER believes in Him shall have eternal life. You are both my children, and I long for your hearts equally.  I love him no less than you.  I view him no differently than you.  You are both my children, and I love you both beyond measure."

What a tremendous lesson, and one that I needed!  I wouldn't typically like to admit that I walk around with an internal holier-than-thou attitude, judging the true holiness of my fellow "church-going Christians."  But, it's the message that God sent me, even in the midst of my delusions of holier grandeur that made it worth sharing.  I can only assume (although I may be totally wrong!) that others may struggle with this temptation to mentally try your neighbors, as well.  If so, remember what God revealed to me, and be encouraged, God loves you.  And, He loves me.  And, His grace is sufficient for all who believe!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Last week, I had been toiling with the thought of what to do about our attendance at Life Group.  I knew that our Life Group had been considering changing the night from Thursday to Tuesday, due to inconsistent attendance by the members.  Of course, switching to Tuesdays, for us, would leave Jeremy out of the possibility of ever attending, except perhaps to sneak in for a few short minutes on his dinner break from work.  However, I felt it pressed on my heart to visit with one of our Life Group Leaders, Jennifer, to express that Tuesdays may, in fact, be better for us as a family because I would be more likely to attend consistently on that night, whereas Thursdays are continuously hit or miss (mostly miss) for us.  Amazingly, when I expressed this logic to Jennifer, she reported that this was confirmation and an answered prayer, as she had also felt a strong urging to invite me to attend without Jeremy (not as a matter of excluding him, but as a matter of at least getting some consistent involvement across-the-board, and Jeremy can attend when possible, and he can be plugged-in through other means, such as the men's social gatherings, etc.), but she had prayed for clarity in the decision of whether or not to switch to Tuesdays.  See, we were the only family holding them back from switching to Tuesday nights.

So, what is my point in sharing this information?  Well, by waiting and listening, and then obeying God, by telling Jennifer my thoughts on switching to Tuesdays, I served as an avenue for God to give Jennifer that confirmation and clarity for which she had prayed.  What if I had ignored those feelings, or kept them to myself?  Then God could not have used me as a channel to answer her prayers.  Which leads me to wonder, how often does God, in fact, use us to answer someone else's prayers?  I have a friend going through a divorce, after 17 years of marriage, and they have 2 children, and every now and then, I just have this little sneaky thought in the back of my mind to send her an encouraging word.  And, then, the response is like, "Oh my gosh, you don't know how badly I needed that!"  So, what if those sneaky little thoughts in the back of my brain are, in FACT, the Holy Spirit, nudging me forth, and using ME...li'l ol' ME...as a means to answer someone's prayer for comfort and encouragement??  What kind of privilege and honor is that?!?!

Obedience to a Call, for me, is not just an obedience to write.  It's an obedience to listen and heed the Holy Spirit when it presses on my heart.  Who knows!  By doing one seemingly simple act, you may, in fact, be representing the hands and feet of Jesus to someone in need.  God absolutely uses us if we only obey His nudges.  God may be using you and your gifts to move someone's mountain without you even realizing it!  What a blessed revelation!  I think I'll start paying closer attention to the sneaky little voice in the back of my head :)