Bubble Bath Brilliance

Last night, after an amazing night of worship and fellowship at the Love and Care Ministries Tent Revival, I came home and decided to relax over a nice warm bubble bath.  Still on a bit of a spiritual high, I picked up a handful of the bubbles, and asked the Lord, "Tell me something about these bubbles, God."  Praise God for His promise that when we ask for bread, He will not give us a stone! (Matt. 7:9-11)

Without a moment's notice, the Lord delivered.  Immediately (no exaggeration -- I mean right away) after I asked the Lord for a little something, I had an answer.  One that was far smarter than I could have come up with on my own, in such a swift instance! 

See, we have this really brilliant, hot can light above our bathtub.  As I gazed upon the bubbles, some were really large, and some were so very tiny.  But, they all had one thing in common.  Every single bubble reflected the light from above.  EVERY. ONE.  Without exception.  And, trust me, I spent a lot of time looking for one that didn't!  No matter the size of the bubble, it reflected the light.  Some had brighter reflections, and some even had a double portion of the reflection, but they all had it!!  And, the magnificent thing was the way the clusters of bubbles created a truly brilliant, beautiful shimmer of light -- a perfect culmination of all of that light reflected from above.

God helped me to see that we, as Jesus followers, are just like those bubbles.  When the Lord shines into us, we cannot help but reflect His light.  He has deposited a measure of Himself in each and every one of us, whether we realize it or not.  No matter our "size," His reflection is there.  And, in fact, His light is reflected in greater proportion to some of the seemingly smaller vessels!! Some have a brighter reflection, and some even have a double portion anointing, but we all reflect the Father's light, because He is pouring into us.  And, when we get together, what an even more ridiculously awe-inspiring, yea brilliant, reflection we depict of the Lord's light and love!!

How FUN is that?!?  God is so GOOD!

He Moves in Mysterious Ways

So, we have made a really big decision for me to leave the workforce, and enter the world of stay-at-home-mom.  See my other post (Changes on the Holmes' Sweet Homefront) for details about this journey.

I have been so very nervous about announcing my resignation, for many reasons.  Mostly because I feel like I am well regarded in my field, and am working my way up a pretty promising career ladder.  So, I’ve been so fretful, wondering how my boss would take the news.

Well, 2 days prior to my scheduled meeting with my boss (which was today), I was driving down the road, and suddenly, for whatever reason, remembered a dream I had had many, many years ago.  The dream had left such a strong impression on my heart that I had awakened, feeling absolutely certain it was a word from the Lord.  I have always remembered that dream, quite vividly, even though it came so many years ago.

However, in trying to recall the dream a couple of days ago, I was a little sketchy on some of the details, and was strapping my brain, trying to remember what the message was that I had felt from the Lord.  I remembered a LOT about the dream, still, but couldn’t get to the core message, buried somewhere in the back of my mind.

So, yesterday, one day prior to my announcement of resignation, I was cleaning out my desk, in nervous anticipation of the impending meeting with my boss today.  I got to the bottom drawer, which was embarrassingly FULL of just…well…JUNK.  Old junk!!  Years and years of junk that I had mindlessly stashed in the useless drawer.  In pulling out the items, and going through them, one by one, I found this old tattered green spiral notebook, and when I opened it up, the only thing I found inside was a penciled, edited, scratched out, attempted poetic version of that dream…that word from the Lord I had had so many years ago….the one I had just randomly thought about, while driving in the car the day before.

So, what was the dream, you may ask?

I was walking home, one seemingly normal night.  Down my seemingly normal and typical path, when suddenly, I became disoriented in the pitch black darkness of the night.  Without warning, I found myself tumbling down a hill, and I landed in the middle of an open field.  I wasn’t sure how I’d landed there, but yet I felt self-confident in my ability to find my way home.  Then, out of nowhere, came this stranger into my presence.  He offered to show me the way home.  Fierce in my independence, I assured him that I didn’t need any directions, as I was quite sure I knew where I was headed.  But the man quieted me with his presence, and simply  said, “Yes, but wouldn’t you like to know a better way?”

Wow!  Now, how creative is that??  God not only spoke to me back those many years ago, but spoke to me again, through the same message,  these many years later.  Reminding me that, while my path may possibly get me to the same final destination, He has a better way!

Upon reading about that dream, the anxiety I felt about submitting my resignation to my boss melted away.  And, wouldn’t you know, when I finally got the opportunity to speak with her, she was overjoyed for my opportunity to stay home with my kids, and embraced me in a supportive hug. 

Every step along the way, so far, in this journey has pointed to God’s provision and faithfulness!!  How blessed we are!!!

A Little Poem

I wrote this short little poem today, to cope with the angst I've been feeling amid all of the political/religious judgment going on lately in the media.

“To love” is a command we all know well,

The greatest commandment that Jesus did tell.

But, “to love” doesn’t always mean “to condone”

Or take the philosophy “to each his own.”

Just because I believe dif’rently from you

Doesn’t mean that I’m condemning you for your view.

Even as you hold your values so dear,

So, I have mine, too, from which I don’t veer.  

So, please understand, I’ve no ill will in my heart,

Just because our opinions & views may depart.

If you decide that I loathe you ‘cause we disagree

Then, my friend, that’s on you, and not on me.

Come as a Child

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 

Mark 10:14-15

Last night, in searching the Scriptures about parenting, and how to shepherd my children in their faith, I came across this passage, which I've, admittedly, read a million times, and heard preached 2 million.  Yet, once again the Living and Active Word of God fell fresh on my heart, and I suddenly felt new revelation about what exactly this means -- to come as a child.  So, I started reflecting on my own children, to try to gain a better perspective of what Jesus's instructions might mean.

In other words, how do my children "come unto me?"  They come in several meaningful ways that, I believe, are applicable to this passage.

1.  My Children Come HONESTLY, CONFESSING their sin:

I'll admit, half the time my kids get into trouble, they would have never been caught if they didn't come running to me to tell me what they'd done.  I have a sofa table in my living room that has my "pretties" on it (delicate breakable figurines), which the kids are not allowed to touch.  Yet, sometimes, I walk through the living room to find all of my little figurines laying perfectly aligned on their sides.  One day recently, Jonah came running to me in the bedroom, a little remorseful in his tone, but needing to get it out - "Mommy, um, uh, I just touched your people on the table.  I'm sorry.  I just touched them, and layed them over."  I said, "Jonah, you are not supposed to touch them.  Do NOT touch them again.  Mommy is going to go set them back up."  He quickly interjected, "Oh, I already put them back."  HA!  So, if Jonah hadn't come to confess his sin, I would have never even known what he had done!

Of course, the Lord sees all that we have done, anyway, and yet, I think we still, as "grown-ups" feel like we can conceal our sin from Him, all the same.  Oh, what we can learn from the honest, heart-felt confession of a child.

2.  My Children Come BOLDLY, and with WRECKLESS ABANDON:

When my kids approach me about anything, they never feel shy, scared, or timid.  No.  They know what they want, and they know I'm the one to help them get it.  They come, full-on, ready to address whatever it is that they need, whether it be a glass of milk, or to tattle on their sibling!  They don't hold back their emotions, but put them out there for the world (and ME) to see.  If they're mad, they don't pretend to be happy.  If they're scared, they don't pretend to feel secure.  They look to me to meet their emotional needs, and they know that for me to help them, they have to let me know, BOLDLY and HONESTLY, exactly how they feel.  Sometimes, they get mad at me, and Jonah will be quick to tell me, "You're not my best friend anymore!" But, he also knows that's a safe way to feel, because when he changes his mind, I will be right there waiting for him.

In the same way, we can approach God with any and all of our emotions.  We can stand boldly before the throne, and make our petitions known to the Lord.  We are safe in His presence, no matter what it is that we may feel!

3. My Children Come Knowing that I will UNDERSTAND them:

I have to admit, sometimes the life of a Mommy of preschoolers is a lot about interpreting the gibberish!  I tell our friends that we can understand everything Lexi says, but we have to be her interpreter for others.  For instance, I know that "I want a teabot" means, "I want a cereal bar," and "Bubbapinmeahdaahm" translates to, "Bubba pinched me on the arm."  Likewise, when Jonah declares that "There's a caterpillar what turned into this bug is in my room," I know he means he just found a moth!  

Interpreting the gibberish.

Sometimes, we go to God and don't know exactly what to say or how to say it, but we have to trust that He, too, will be able to decipher the gibberish of our hearts.  Because He can...and He does!

4. My Children Come TRUSTING me FULLY:

I always loved watching my brother with his kids when they were younger, as he would spin these ridiculous tales about his previous life as a professional kickboxer, or beat boxer, or whatever, and his kids would swallow his tales hook-line-and-sinker, every time.  It was hilarious!  But, they trusted him. And, our kids are the same way -- it's called childlike faith, and it's called that for a reason!  Jonah believes everything we throw at him.  Lexi fully trusts that her Mommy is going to meet her every need.  Jonah knows he's going to get dinner every night, and Lexi knows her Mommy is going to snuggle her up when she asks for it (and even when she doesn't).  They haven't been jaded, yet, by the cruel effects of the sin of this world.

But, we have.  And, because of those cruel effects, sometimes we have a hard time approaching the throne with complete trust that the Father will meet our needs, and speak only the truth into our hearts, and feed and clothe us, and provide for us.

What if we took this reflection and approached the throne of grace truly like a child!  After all "the kingdom belongs to such as these."  We can honestly and openly confess our sins, express our emotions (even the ugly ones), cry out to God, even when we don't know exactly what it is that we want to say, and trust completely that He is there to fulfill our needs and bring forth the purpose He has for our life!  I think it all boils down to this:  We must be ourselves!  No facades, no phony attitudes, nothing hidden in our hearts.  We must put it out there completely, because He sees it, anyway!  We may be able to fool those around us, and even fool ourselves, but there is no fooling God.  And, He loves us ANYWAY!


"The kingdom of heaven is at hand." (Matthew 3:2).  That means it's here & now, and yours for the taking.  Grab ahold, with the bold and wreckless abandonment of a child!

God was at the Walllll Mark, Who KNEW!

Today was my first official "Compressed Work Week Monday."  In other words, it was my first official Monday off, as a part of my new work schedule.  So, of course, I took advantage of having the babies in daycare (yes, I know they're not babies anymore, but you know who I mean), to do a little grocery shopping, down at the local Wallll Mark (as Jeremy's grandmother so amusingly calls it).  Now, I don't know about you, but the last place I really expect to have a God encounter is at Wal Mart.  I approach that place with utter dread.  Maybe because I used to have to shop there so often during my daycare assistant directing days, or maybe just because it's....well....Wal Mart.

But, today was awesome!  I got all my shopping done, lickity split.  Every time I would get to the next item on my list (which I stuck miraculously close to this time!), I'd find myself on the exact aisle I needed!  But, as if that wasn't enough, the real blessing came at check-out time.  When I came to the checker, I asked her how her day has been, and she seemed utterly irritated.  She replied with a curt, "Well, it was going fine, but it's sure not anymore!"  There was absolutely no disguising the fact that something (or someone) had truly offended this woman, in a nasty way!  Now, I'd taken note of the person who had checked out right in front of me, and I felt certain it couldn't have been her, as I'd just had the sweetest conversation with her about her precious little 4-month old baby girl, who had been born prematurely, and was currently having some heart problems.  I had felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to pray for the the baby, but I just kept it to myself, so as not to hold up the Wal Mark line.  At first, I just kept quiet and expressed sympathy for the checker, but I just felt nudged to continue to press in, and it appeared to be exactly what she needed.  She opened up and expressed her concerns, subtly, though passionately, and yet with a wall of "strength."  (Oh, and by the way, I was right...it had nothing to do with the sweet lady in front of me in line).  This time, when the Lord prompted me to pray, I decided I should probably pay attention, and heed my own revelation from my previous blog post "Do You Hear What I Hear."  So, I asked her if it was okay if I could pray over her, discretely, as we loaded up my groceries.  She was absolutely open to the idea, and afterward, her entire demeanor had shifted.  She said, "I am now smiling on the inside as much as I am on the outside!"  This woman went from downright pissed off and unable to see straight, to full of joy and happy tears!  She proceeded to tell me that I am "touched," and that she could feel something from me, that made her cold (in a good way), the moment I started praying for her, which led to a perfect opportunity for me to tell her that the chill she felt came from the Holy Spirit, for "if I am touched, I am touched by God."  The Lord also gave me words of encouragement to speak into her life, and He blessed me with another person to keep in my prayers!!  Funny how these unlikely opportunities keep coming up, the more I press into what He has for me!

What a remarkable encounter, and reminder that God is everywhere, and works through even the most unlikely of circumstances, even such as choosing your check-out line at the Wal Mark!

Soap Box

Being a Christian doesn't make me any less human than the next person. I still need grace, as much as the next person. In fact, being a Christian is an outright admission that I'm in need of grace, not a cry that I'm without flaws. 

I think that sometimes people are quick to judge every little sin a Christian commits, and thus cast them off as hypocrites. Sadly, then, many people throw the baby out with the bath water. 

"That Christian is judgmental!  Christianity is a farce!" 

"That church was run by corrupt people.  No church is trustworthy or good!"

"Look how selfish and self-righteous that Christian is!  All Christians are hypocrites!!  Jesus must NOT be the way!"

Please don't mis-read what I am trying to say.  I am not saying that Christians should act the way some of us do, especially in the name of Jesus.  What I am saying is that:

A)  Just because you've come across some "professing Christians" who haven't represented Christ the way God intended, doesn't mean that all Christians are bad, nor that all churches are bad.

B)  Christians are not without flaw or sin.  They simply embrace the grace of Christ to cover their sin.  That's not to say that we don't have a responsibility to delve into the Word and grow in our faith, but we need a little bit of a break from a society who assumes that the label "Christian" means "Super-Human" or "Without Sin."  When, in fact, the only Man who was ever without sin was Jesus -- because He was fully God and fully man.  Christians are not fully God, and cannot be fairly held to that standard.

Don't judge the truth of Christ simply by those who are still growing in faith, who sometimes (oftentimes, even) get it wrong, or by a church that may have also gotten it wrong.

Judge it by the Man of Jesus. Man is fallible, and man-made things and institutions are fallible. But, God is infallible, unchanging, consistent, and ever-present.  You can learn about Him in the Bible, which is God-breathed, and by crying out to Him through prayer.  An encounter with man is not going to transform your life or your beliefs, but I can guarantee you that an encounter with God will. 

As Christians, we're going to stumble, and sometimes even fall. We're going to have selfish moments.  We're going to lose our cool.  We're going to judge things and situations when we ought not...although as we grow in our faith, and our lives are transformed, hopefully these things happen less and less.  The bottom line is that we're going to get it wrong sometimes....because that's what humans do - even the Christian ones :)

Thankfully, we're not dependent on the grace of our peers to redeem us :) That is GOOD NEWS! And, I'm going to share it....just as if I would share ANY other bit of good news that might come my way - not to convert people, but because there's an overflow of joy and love and excitement in my heart that I just can't contain. It's not manufactured, but it is planted there by God! If people are offended by that, then well.... that's a bummer, man...but I won't stop sharing my testimony, nor pouring out Christ's love on others. 

And, I'd like to challenge other Christians out there to share your faith and your testimony!  There's a reason you believe what you do!!  I'm not saying to pull someone's hair out to try to "convert" their beliefs.  But, for crying out loud, if you love the Lord, and He has done good things for you, and you believe Christ died to set you free from the bondage of sin and death, then why not tell people about it?  You don't have to be their Holy Spirit (the One to bring revelation & transform beliefs).  But, you can certainly speak of the good things He has done for you. 

I think so many Christians are intimidated and dissuaded from sharing their beliefs by a society that declares, "I don't want to hear it because all Christians are hypocrites and just want to beat their religion into me."  Well, then, be that person who shifts society's paradigm about Christians.  Be that believer in Christ who is not  a hypocrite, and isn't out to bombard people, but yet isn't afraid to say, "I love Jesus, and I try my best to follow Him."  Be the love of Christ to others, and tag onto it where (or, rather, Who) your hope comes from.  How can a world begin to believe that there are truly good, genuine followers of Christ, if the good, genuine, non-judgmental, generous, joyful, kind, loving authentic followers of Christ (like yourself, maybe) are too afraid to stand up and say, "Yep, I'm a follower of Jesus!  See?  We're not all so bad!"

"Try Me"

I have really been dealing lately with pressing into more of what the Lord has for me.  Of learning more about what my purpose is.  Of what my mission is.

I went to a conference today (Compassion in Action) that only drove that desire deeper.  I totally felt the Holy Spirit moving in my heart, and I found myself all weepy, which I did NOT expect.  But, I was moved to answer an altar call to just go up and meet God and get the answers to precisely where He is calling me.  So, you can imagine my surprise when I got to the altar, and all I heard was....

SILENCE.

Not a word.

NOTHING.

I covered my ears to drown out the prayers and worship I heard going on all around me, but it didn't help. I couldn't drown out the noise and just tune into God's voice.

To say I was disappointed is an understatement.  I mean, I really felt He wanted me to surrender at the altar, where He fully intended to encounter me and tell me what's up.  

But, it didn't happen.

I almost stayed for prayer afterward....for someone to pray over me because I'm having trouble hearing God.  But, I opted to leave.

When I got in my car, I started in on the "woe is me" cries to the Lord.  Why were you silent?  What do you have for me?  Where are you calling me, Lord?  I want to know!  I want to GO!

But, I also found myself, in that exact same breath, before ever hearing a word  from the Lord, begin making excuses for why I will not be able to answer His call. (It really wasn't even on a conscious level, at first!)

"If it's volunteering my time, Lord, I won't have time with how much I travel for work, and the kids are so small.  If it's writing music, Lord, I don't think I've got what it takes.  If it's missions, Lord, I don't know... because I don't think Jeremy will go for that...."  The list went on!

No wonder he didn't speak!  He couldn't get a word in edgewise!  Here I was, crying out for a mission, and basically turning down that mission before He even had the time to tell me what it was.

Just when I was convinced that He wasn't there, He didn't hear my cry, and He would forever remain silent, He spoke.  Short, and simple, yet powerful:  

"Try Me."

In those two simple words, God spoke a deep and profound truth to my heart.  He knows where I am and who I am.  He knows my circumstances, and He is bigger than any of those things.  If He calls me to something, He will make the provision for it to happen.  And, that's not just a provision of "finances," but a provision of support and time and resources, and anything I need to fulfill the purpose which He has designed for me.

See, I think God wants our YES, even before we know what the "yes" is to!